"After three months of us dating, we felt very comfortable, and we assume that we could spend the rest of our lives together." (Jessica.)
"I had been crazy about him for two long years, until one day he noticed me. It was great to have someone make me feel more protected. "(Carol.)
Over time, Jessica and Carol broke with their boyfriends. Why? "It was foolish to miss her suitors?
nearly a year out with that guy. At first I was sure it was your Prince Charming. Sometimes still relive the excitement you felt when you got engaged, but now you have your reservations. If there is something in it that gives you a bad feeling, should you turn a blind eye? How do you know if you should break? The truth is
to ignore the warning signs in your engagement is like ignoring the warning lights on your car dashboard. If you close your eyes, the problems will not disappear, only worsen. Now, what could be some danger signs?
Ours goes very fast. Falling in love too fast can cause problems. "We were sending emails, chateábamos and talked on the phone," recalls Carol. But these forms of communication can quickly intensify feelings, because one does not see her face to the other, the talks soon become very intimate. "So So why not give the opportunity to know better? After all, an engagement should not be like an herb that comes on suddenly and then faded. Rather, it should be like a strong tree whose foliage grows over time.
is sarcastic and judgmental. "I had a boyfriend who always put me on the floor," says Anne, but nevertheless I wanted to stay with him. "And he admits:" I put up with things we never imagined it would bear. " The Bible decries the "abusive speech", ie, the insults (Ephesians 4:31). While sarcasm dress up a friendly tone, you should never take place between two people who love (Proverbs 12:18).
has a bad temper. "A man of discernment is serene spirit," says Proverbs 17:27. Erica realized that her boyfriend had a bad temper. "When we were discussing, I was pushing, and sometimes bruising me out." The Bible urges Christians to "to remove all malicious bitterness and wrath and anger" (Ephesians 4:31). Someone who is unable to control is not ready to engage in courtship (2 Timothy 3:1, 3, 5). Hidden
our relationship. "My boyfriend did not want anyone to know about us, "recalls Angela. So my father became angry when he heard that we were dating. "Of course, there may be good reasons for a couple to save some discretion, but sneaking around those who are entitled to know it spells trouble.
has no intention of marrying me. The purpose of courtship among Christians is to honestly decide if they want to marry. Of course, this does not mean they will start planning the wedding from the time they are engaged. Many do not even get to marry the first person out. Of course, nobody should start a relationship if it is unable to fulfill the responsibilities of marriage.
We break all the time. "A true companion is loving all the time," says Proverbs 17:17. Although not always going to agree, if they spend breaking and reconciled, there may be a serious underlying problem to be solved. "Every time we broke, I suffered terribly," admits Anne. I was clinging to a relationship that hurt me. "
I pressed for sex. "If you really love me, you will." "It's time to take the next step." "No penetration is not a sexual relationship. "All these are arguments that some kids pressure their girlfriends to have sex. James 3:17 states: "The wisdom from above is first of caste." Do not you think you deserve a decent boyfriend who can respect your moral boundaries? Why settle for less?
I have suggested to be careful with him. The Bible states: "Plans fail when they are not consulted, but are successful when they seek advice from those who know" (Proverbs 15:22, The Word of God for All). "You can not turn a deaf ear to the opinions of those you want, and you can not refuse to listen to that inner voice that warns you, "says Jessica. The less if they do, the worse for you. "
The above points are just some of the danger signs in a relationship. Do you identify with any of these situations? Write any other matter that concerns you. ________________________________
How to end the relationship
Suppose you decided that the best is to break. How do you say to your boyfriend? Although there are many ways to end a relationship, would do well to take note of the following points. Arm
value. "I came to rely so heavily on him, I was afraid to quit," says a young woman named Teresa. In effect, cut to the chase takes courage, but it is most wise (Proverbs 22:3). This will help you clearly define what we tolerate and will not tolerate in courtship and later marriage.
Play fair. If I was your boyfriend to take the initiative to break, do not you wish you'd explain the reasons? (Matthew 7:12.) Therefore, do not just send a simple little message in your email, your cell phone or voice mail that says: "Ours is over!". Choose the time
and the right place. Which is better: tell face to face or by telephone? Talk to him, or write a letter? Much depends on the circumstances. But if you decide to do it in person, do not expose yourself to a violent situation or choose a secluded place where they can unleash immoral desires (1 Thessalonians 4:3).
speak frankly. Expose the reasons why it has to end the relationship. If you do not like how he treats you, tell them. Tell him how you feel, without charge. For example, instead of saying: "You always put me on the floor", you might say: "I feel on the floor every time ...".
Listen carefully. Be sure not to have misunderstood things. It is true that you should not let you mess with glib, but you must be reasonable and objectively evaluate the facts. The Bible wisely advises that we must "be ready in terms of hearing, slow about speaking" (James 1:19).
More articles from the "Young People Ask" in www.watchtower.org / yps
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